Being a parent is a challenge. Being a single mom of four, and coparenting sometimes feels like I am the ringmaster of several circuses. Even though I am adjusting to coparenting, and this new life, things are still crazy. The kids still struggle with transition, and I still feel that deeply for them.
Disregulation, and big feelings are a normal part of the transition between households. Even though I know this, sometimes it is hard to keep myself regulated so that I can co-regulate with them and help them with their transition.
As a mental health coach, I see the need to reach these things to them, and to pay attention to their healthy mental development, but sometimes I forget that they ARE my greatest calling. Even if I did nothing else with my coaching skills, I know that I can always use the knowledge to be the best mom I can be.
Kids need the comfort and ministry of presence in their lives. Babies crave the warmth and safety of their mother's arms, and big kids aren't much different - especially big kids who are going through a lot. Sometimes just taking the time to simply hold them and allow them to sink into the safety of mama's loving arms is the biggest thing you can do for your children.
Our understanding of Love, and our understanding of who God is start at such a young age. Our own view of ourselves is very much reflected in how our minds develop when we are little. As parents, we are going to make mistakes, and we will have plenty to apologize for when our kids grown up, but if we recognize the opportunities to feed into our kids, and to remind them that they are loved, they will feel valued, and as if they matter. They need to know that they matter, not just when it is convenient for other people.
~Jessica
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